i AM - Darkness
A friend called me the QUEEN of DARKNESS.
It struck me how I always feel so comfortable using pure black in my works.
It created a thread connecting dots for this collection.
有位朋友叫我「黑暗女王」。
這讓我意識到自己在創作中總是那麼自在地使用純黑。
這成了串起這個系列作品的線索與連結。
How I started back in 2017?
When I was still fashion Tricia, searching for a 9-8 office job.
I sent if not thousands, definitely hundreds of application.
I attended endless interviews trying to prove myself, but often ended with rejections.
In those sleepless insomnia nights, I remembered how I used to paint to accompany myself in the exchange student year in the USA.
So I started painting to soothe myself.
I painted in the darkness on the floor.
Late night painting became what I most looked forward to of the day.
我是怎麼在2017年開始的？
那時的我還是「時尚Tricia」，正在尋找一份朝九晚八的辦公室工作。
我投了成千上百封履歷，參加無數場面試，努力想證明自己，卻常常以被拒收場。
那些失眠的夜晚，我想起自己在美國交換學生那年，是如何靠畫畫陪伴自己度過的。
於是我又開始畫畫，來安撫自己。
我坐在地板上的黑暗中畫畫。
深夜的創作成為我每天最期待的時光。
Art was the light that guided me through those dark nights.
It brought me comfort in darkness.
My mom then said my works were too dark.
No one would like my art.
I still painted them anyways because I had no pressure of selling my art.
It was purely a healing tool and expressional outlet.
藝術是那些黑夜裡指引我前行的光。
它在黑暗中帶來慰藉與安定。
我媽媽那時曾說，我的作品太黑暗了，
沒有人會喜歡我的畫。
但我還是照樣畫，因為那時的我沒有賣畫的壓力。
藝術只是單純的療癒工具與情感的出口。
自信 Confidence
2018
This is a piece born in the very beginning of my art journey in 2018.
I was transitioning from fashion industry, to jobless, to English teaching.
I just moved into ex’s tiny single man apartment.
I started painting on the floor as a hobbist, not thinking about making art for career .
He’d go out to work and I’d spend my day job hunting,
creating and waiting for him to come back.
I started cooking a little on a camping stove in his tiny apartment.
Not knowing what to do with life, it was a dark time in a little dark room.
不知道人生的方向，那是一段在小暗房間裡的黑暗時光。
這是我2018年認識前任後不久，在藝術生涯剛開始時的作品。
我正在從時尚業過渡到失業，再到教補習班英文。
我搬進他的小小單身公寓。
以業餘愛好者的身份開始在地板上畫畫，並不考慮以藝術為職業。
當他出門工作，我會花整天找工作、創作並等他回來。
並開始在他小公寓的卡式露營爐做飯。
In creating this piece, I gained confidence with the control of detailed fine lines and watercolor shading.
It was satisfying to paint the background pitch black with heavy acrylic, painting all my dark emotions into galaxy.
I didn’t know that you can use splash technique to create similar starry effect back then yet.
The stars in the background were hand painted with a paint brush one by one.
The dotting process of mimicking stars was a healing process that led me to see light.
在創作這件作品時，我在細節線條和水彩陰影的掌握中找回了信心。
用厚重的壓克力把背景漆成漆黑，彷彿把所有的黑暗情緒都畫進銀河，過程令人滿足。
當時我還不知道可以使用噴灑飛濺來創造類似的星星效果。
背景中的星星是用畫筆一顆一顆手繪的。
模仿點點星星是一個療癒的過程，讓我看到了光。
It’s a dark piece reminding me of the dark time.
It’s also a nice reminder of how far I’ve come.
I started painting on the floor in a living room, to a small table in living room,
to a big table, to a big table in a studio.
這是一幅讓我想起黑暗時光的黑暗作品。
也是很好地提醒，提醒我已經走了有多遠。
我開始在客廳的地板上畫畫，
到客廳的一張小桌子上畫畫，
到一張大桌子，
再到一間工作室的大桌子。
遠見 Vision 2018
From the very beginning, I had the vision to be an artist surrounded by plants,
but I was still a black finger killing many plants.
So I painted many plants to memorize their look so they could stay with me forever.
從一開始，我的願景是被植物包圍的藝術家，
但那時的我還是個「黑手指」，總是養死植物。
於是我開始畫下許多植物，記住它們的模樣，
這樣它們就能永遠陪伴著我。
This was a piece made when I was still self teaching different mediums.
I didn’t know gouache doesn’t work well on canvas.
I was so fond of the matte effect that black gouache created on canvas.
Howeve, gouache doesn’t stay well on canvas.
Every touch, every wet brush stroke brought more paint off the canvas.
I fought and struggled my way through to cover the whole canvas with gouache.
After it was finished, I was scared of touching it because the paint came off so easily.
這是我還在自學各種媒材時創作的一件作品
當時我還不知道廣告顏料其實不太適合用在帆布上
我非常喜歡黑色廣告顏料在帆布上呈現的霧面效果
但水粉無法穩固地附著在帆布上
每一次觸碰、每一道濕筆痕，都會讓原有的顏料被帶走
我一邊掙扎，一邊努力，硬是用廣告顏料完成了整幅畫布的覆蓋
作品完成後，我甚至不敢碰它，因為顏料太容易脫落了。
It has been by the bedside for some reason.
Maybe it reminds of the visions that I can dream of in the dreamworld.
不知為何，它一直是在我床邊的作品
也許，它讓我想起那些我在夢境中才能看見的幻象。
Until this year, 2025, while renovating my grandma’s house, I discovered that matte-finish anti-rust metal paint is now available on the market.
I used the leftover paint to cover the original poster paint,
and framed the edges of the piece with gold oil paint I bought in Japan,
making leaves pop more vividly from the canvas.
直到今年2025，我整修阿嘛家時找到市面上的金屬防鏽漆也有霧面的
我用剩餘的顏料重新覆蓋原本的廣告顏料
並用在日本買到的金色油彩框出頁面邊緣使葉子更跳躍出畫面
Fashionista 時尚達人
I’m reintegrating fashionista Tricia back this year.
It’s a great claim with this piece to rework and polish myself a bit to become more complete.
i Tricia, carry my art like a fashion accessory.
今年，我重新融合時尚達人 Tricia 的那一面。
這件作品是一個很棒的宣告，
代表著我重新打磨自己，讓自己更完整。
我，Tricia，把藝術品當作時尚配件一樣拿著。
I started my IG handle with Fuck Signature Art.
I thought it was a badass way to declare artist identity by saying I didn’t care about recognition,but creating from my heart.
我最初在 IG 上的帳號名稱是Fuck Signature Art
我曾經覺得，用「不在乎認可、只憑心創作」這樣的方式來宣告藝術家的身份，是一種很帥氣的態度
主權 Sovereignty 2019
While Fuck Signature Art stayed with me,
I continued to create a few more dark pieces with pure black.
當 Fuck Signature Art 這個名稱依然陪伴著我時，
我繼續創作幾幅以純黑為主的黑暗作品。
At the beginning, I was very controlling and felt comfortable with color pencils.
There’s no flow but controlled lines.
一開始，我非常控制創作的過程，也只對色鉛筆感到安心。
沒有流動，只有控制的線條。
That name stayed with me for a while until I took a marketing course for artist.
It transformed my mindset and relationship with my art.
I started to see it more seriously and wanted to make it my career.
I should be proud of my own creation by claiming it with my real name.
這個名字陪伴了我一段時間，直到我上了一門藝術家的行銷課
那堂課徹底轉變了我對創作的心態與關係
我開始更認真看待自己的作品，也開始想把這條路當成職業來經營
我應該以自己的真名來認領我的創作，並為此感到驕傲
主權 Sovereignty
2019
內心完整，自信矗立
堅強與柔軟，兩者都有
我是我國度中的國王與女王
以優雅統治，無論喜樂或痛苦
Wholeness within, I stand complete
Strength and softness, both I hold
A queen and king, in my own reign
Ruling with grace, through joy and pain
開始 Beginning 2019
The first IG postIG上第一幅作品
The reason why I started the first post with this piece was because I finally let go a bit with loose abstract flowers.
The gradual darkness background was created with watercolor and pure black acrylic.
I felt I was ready to be seen with loose watercolor
and super skillfully controlled blending technique.
我選擇用這幅作品作為第一篇發文的原因，是因為在創作這幅鬆散抽象花朵的過程中，我終於稍微放手了
背景的漸層暗色是用水彩和純黑壓克力顏料交錯疊加而成的
在那一刻，我覺得自己準備好被看見——以自由奔放的水彩筆觸和極具技巧的精確漸層技巧
重生 Rebirth
2019
It was a stage of REBIRTH with showing up on social media claiming myself an artist.
I rebirthed myself from the ashes of fashion girl and English teacher into artist.
Throughout my life, I noticed the pattern of death and rebirth in different stages.
I used to cut off everything old to start anew,
which caused me to become incomplete and one dimensional.
那是一個重生的階段，透過在社群媒體上現身，宣告自己是藝術家。
我從時尚女孩與英文老師的灰燼中重生，成為藝術家。
回顧人生，我發現自己常在不同階段經歷死亡與重生的循環。
過去的我總是斷然切斷舊有的一切重新開始，
這讓我變得不完整，也失去多面性。
重生 Rebirth 2019
別追逐廢墟
從火焰中重建
我選擇死亡因為那是通往重生的入口
Don’t chase the ruins
Build from the flame
I choose death because it’s the portal to new life
After having presence on social media, I started to care more and more how others might think about my art and what they liked.
I went into a period of soft pink period from end of 2019 to 2021 which you can see by clicking the button below.
在開始經營社群媒體之後，
我開始越來越在意別人對我作品的看法，
以及他們喜歡什麼樣的風格。
於是我進入了一段柔和粉色時期，
大約從2019年底持續到2021年，
你可以點擊下方的按鈕來看看那段時期的作品。
They were beautiful, but I was trying to fit myself into the imagined artist box
that I created for myself.
I locked myself at home and painted 8 hours a day, cutting myself from social interactions to focus on creating art.
I limited myself to being only an artist.
I paid my price for pursuing art with identity crisis, which often opens to middle age married men or women.
Not knowing who I was anymore, I knew I had to come out and have real connection with people.
That’s when my first exhibition Mindful Moments was created.
那些作品很美，
但我卻試圖將自己塞進一個想像中的「藝術家框架」裡。
我把自己鎖在家裡，每天畫畫8個小時，
切斷與外界的社交，只為了專注創作。
我把自己限制為「只能是個藝術家」。
為了追求藝術，我付出了代價——身分認同的危機。
這種危機常見於中年的已婚男女，
我也陷入其中，不再知道自己是誰。
就在那時，我知道我必須走出去，
與人建立真正的連結。
也因此，我的第一場展覽《Mindful Moments》誕生了。
Before the first exhibition, without any exhibition experiences,
I was going through tremendous pressure mostly because of trying to prove myself.
在第一次展覽之前，毫無展覽經驗，
我承受著巨大的壓力，大多來自於——想要證明自己
頓悟 Epiphany 2021
Whilst birthing the exhibition, I continued painting to release the my outburst of creativity and pressure. Epiphany was created during a play without any expectation.
在孕育這場展覽的同時，我持續創作，
用畫筆釋放湧現的創意與壓力。
《Epiphany》是在一次無預設立場的創作中誕生的。
This play piece led to many other pieces with same technique with only palette knife to fill the whole canvas until I find my centre again.
這件玩心之作引領我創作出更多以相同技法完成的作品
僅用調色刀覆蓋整個畫布，直到我再次找回內心的中心。
Tremendous emotions and pressure released and poured into this little piece.
It’s the first of a series of similar pieces which has a dear place in my heart.
龐大的情緒與壓力傾瀉在這幅小作品中。
這是我一系列類似作品中的第一幅，
在我心中佔有特別的位置。
頓悟 Epiphany 2021
內心爆發過於巨大，無法再藏
無計劃，只隨流淌
畫刀之手，隨心而動
混沌中釋放
內心的中心隨之升起
A burst too loud to hold inside
No plan, just flow
Palette knife in hand, I let it go
Through chaos poured
My center soared
Identity crisis didn’t go away but worsened into 2023.
I went to SA with my ex and created these Strength and Resilience in SA.
It was a summer in SA, after the afternoon rain.
With the down pour, dense summer air began to cool down.
When I couldn’t recognize myself, everything was so confusing.
身份認同危機並沒有消失，反而在 2023 年變得更加嚴重。
我和前男友一起去了南非，在那裡創作了《力量》和《韌性》這兩件作品。
那是在南非的夏天，午後大雨過後，
隨著傾盆而下的雨，濃烈的夏日空氣也漸漸變得涼爽。
當我不了解自己時，一切都變得好混亂。
力量 Strength 2023
泥土色調，空氣沉重
暴雨寂靜，無所不在
思緒糾結，情緒深埋
我將無法言說的風暴
化作揮灑的筆觸，讓自己自由
這是力量
這是我，正在成為的自己。
Earthy tones, heavy air
Rain-soaked silence, everywhere.
With tangled thoughts and feelings deep
I turned the storm I couldn’t speak
Into strokes that moved, then set me free.
This is strength.
This is becoming me.
Emotions could not be identified.
Negative thoughts and emotions were not allowed to be expressed.
I poured loneliness and confusion onto paper.
情緒無法被辨認，
負面想法與感受不被允許表達。
我將孤獨與迷惘傾瀉於紙上。
韌性 Resilience 2023
泥濘天空，微光柔和
午後的爭吵仍在濕潤的空氣裡
思緒如迷宮，心潮如浪湧
每一道筆觸，都是前行
每一抹色彩，都是釋放
我，開始留下來
Mud-rich skies, softened light
The air still thick from afternoon’s fight
My mind a maze, my chest a tide
Each stroke a step, each hue release
I began to stay
Darkness always comes before the breaking dawn.
I became so weak, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I knew deep down powerful Tricia had been there somewhere.
Right before the breakup, I created QUEEN.
It was the pre-phase of claiming my power back.
She was created in a very low light room by the fragilest Tricia I’ve ever known.
Yet,
that seemingly breakable dragonfly resembles the transformations I was about to go though.
黑暗，總在黎明破曉前來臨。
在分手前，我創作了《女王》。
那是我重新找回力量的前奏。
她誕生於一間光線微弱的房間，被我認識最脆弱的Tricia所生。
然而，那隻看似易碎的蜻蜓卻象徵著我即將經歷的蛻變。
Not many pieces were created in 2023 because I went through the darkest time of my life.
Breakup happened.
I left the house we shared with only 10k in my bank account.
There’s no my bed at my parents’ to go back to.
The worst is I lost one of the only two identities I had, someone’s GF.
2023年創作不多，因為我經歷了人生中最黑暗的時期。
分手發生了。
我帶著銀行帳戶裡僅剩的1萬塊離開了我們共同的家。
父母的家沒有我到床可以回去。
最糟的是，我失去了僅剩的兩個身份之一，某人的女朋友。
It’s a piece that can’t be captured by camera lens but by your eyes.
這是一件無法用相機鏡頭捕捉的作品，只有用你的眼睛才能看見。
Breakdown = Breakthrough
女王 Queen 2023
看似纖細脆弱
卻是空中捕食獵物的肉食動物
培養內在力量與智慧的必經過程，叫做蛻變
她是自己后國中的女王
Seemly delicate and fragile
Yet a carnivore eating her pray in flight
Necessary journey to cultivate inner strength and wisdom called transformation
She’s the queen in her own queendom
Around the same time, I started to claim my long shamed sexuality back.
I was vital and wild in my early 20s.
After becoming a gf and an artist, I always painted in ex’s baggy T-shirt and trying to be the idealized good girl in the frame I created for myself.
Sexual energy is creative energy.
It was my powerful sexual energy that allows me to create everything in life.
差不多在那段時間，我開始重新擁抱自己曾經深感羞愧的性能量
我二十出頭的時候是那樣充滿生命力與野性
但在成為別人的女友和一位藝術家之後
我總是穿著前任的寬大T恤作畫
努力扮演著我自己為自己設下的「乖女孩」理想框架中的角色
性能量就是創造能量
正是這股強大性能量，讓我能夠創造出人生中的一切
性能量 Sexuality 2023
我神聖的火花，如綻放的玫瑰
不是羞恥，而是我重新擁抱的力量
月亮與星辰共鳴神聖之曲
陰性與陽性能量自由流動
創造的力量，在我之中鮮活閃耀
My sacred spark, a rose in bloom
Not shame, but power I reclaim
Moon and stars hum sacred tune
Feminine, masculine—both flow free
Creation's force alive in me
❤️🔥 Sacred Sexuality ❤️🔥
Our sexuality has been wounded with taboos and miseducation of pornography on the internet. Sex becomes dirty and tabooed. Twisted concepts even said it’s sinful to have sex when the truth is sexual energy is life force energy. It’s not only about the sexual acts in bed.
❤️🔥 神聖性能量❤️🔥
我們的性觀念因網路上色情內容的禁忌和錯誤教育而受到傷害。性變得骯髒和禁忌，扭曲的觀念甚至說發生性行為是有罪的，而事實性能量是生命力。它不是床上發生的性行為。
After losing everything,
I entered a phase of recreating myself with spirituality.
I started to look back on past years to find myself back.
I’ve been using my powerful sexual energy to recreate myself.
在失去一切之後，
我進入了一個透過靈性重塑自我的階段。
我開始回顧過去的歲月，
一點一滴找回真正的自己。
我一直在運用我強大的性能量來重塑自己。
探險 Adventure 2024
突破極限，追尋閃耀之光
瘋狂絢爛的花朵，在黑紙上綻放
靈魂暗夜中誕生火花
一件只屬於我的獨特之作
Pushing edges, chasing flare
Wild blooms burst on midnight air
From soul’s dark night, a spark set free
A masterpiece that is uniquely me
When in turmoils, laughters and playfulness were long forgotten.
Deep down, I knew I am daring and adventurous.
It was that side of me pushing edges that made me be fascinated by art.
在動盪中，笑聲與玩樂早已被遺忘。
但內心深處，我知道我勇敢且充滿冒險精神。
正是這份突破邊界的勇氣，讓我對藝術產生了無盡的迷戀。
However, I had been creating lots of gentle soft pink florals for years.
In the beginning of 2024, power slowly started to come back to me.
I was using thick and bright gouache instead of watercolor.
Still recovering from the breakup, an edgy floral piece on black paper was created.
然而，這些年來，我一直在創作柔和的粉紅花卉。
到了2024年初，力量開始慢慢回到我身邊。
我開始用濃厚且明亮的廣告顏料代替水彩。
在依然從分手中恢復的過程中，一幅大膽的花卉作品在黑色紙上誕生。
女神 Goddess 2024
女神誕生於突破界線的創意湧浪中，用我神聖的性能量。Goddess was born in the creative current of pushing edges with my sacred sexual energy.
I realized I really enjoyed challenging taboos.
I started Goddess at the beginning of 2024 but only finish it in the latter half of 2024.
It’s my tribute to divine feminine and sacred sexuality.
In 2024, I found my art is not so flowy and abstract anymore.
I started to use many reference photos and my imagination to weave them together.
我意識到我真的很喜歡挑戰禁忌。
在2024年初開始創作《女神》，但直到2024年下半年才完成。
這是我對神聖女力與神聖性能量的致敬。
在2024年，我發現我的創作不再那麼流動與抽象了。
我開始使用許多參考照片，並將我的想像力與它們交織在一起。
女神 Goddess 2024
金星女神，光輝燦爛
蘭花綻放，女陰之光
神聖女性，三位一體的召喚
Kundalini 揚升，擁抱一切
Goddess of Venus, radiant and bright
Orchids bloom with yonis' light
Divine Feminine, a trinity’s call
Kundalini rising, embracing all
With spirituality and darkness, I finally found my depth.
I always know I'm good at creating beauty,
but there gotta be something more than that.
在靈性與黑暗中，我終於找到了我的深度。
我一直都知道自己擅長創造美，
但總覺得一定還有更多。
This inner voice sent me on a soul quest to connect with all parts of myself, even the most ugly, the most unlovable parts.
It's a journey of learning to love myself back through it all.
All in all, it was much needed to find my INNER PEACE that's not affected by outside influences and my DEPTH.
這種內在聲音讓我開始了靈魂的探索，
連結自己的所有部分，甚至是最醜陋、最不可愛的部分。
這是一段在黑暗時刻，依然學會如何愛自己的旅程。
總而言之，我找到不受外在影響的內心平靜
和自我深度。
深度 Depth 2025
深度不由安逸生
而是由沙礫、烈火與淚染的天空中淬煉
靈魂在陰影深處成形
痛苦無聲，卻深沉而堅韌
Depth does not rise from ease
But grit, fire, and tear-stained skies
The soul is shaped in shadow's keep
Where pain runs silent, strong, and deep
In i AM exhibition, I invite you to see the growth in my not only art but life journey.
在《I AM》展覽中，我誠摯邀請你一同見證我不只是藝術上的成長，更是人生旅程中的蛻變與前行。
成長 Growth 2025
Beneath the stars, the mountains breathe
Trees stretch in shadow, slow and deep
The waxing moon, a silent guide
With no end
They grow with grace
They grow with pride
繁星之下，群山呼吸
樹影綿延，緩向天際
盈月無語，默默指引
成長無盡
帶著優雅
也帶著驕傲
A piece based on the scene at parents’ mountain cabin which created in 2019 or 2020,
but only added the long visioned stars and new moon to finish it off in 2025.
這幅是以父母山上小屋的景色為靈感創作的，大約在2019或2020年間完成初稿，
直到2025年才加上我長久以來想像中的星空與新月，為它劃下最終的句點。
A canvas from a memorable place was reused and transformed the under painting into my inspiration.
On the back of the canvas, I recorded many dates and moon phases
It was inspired by the woods at friends’ home.
I spent many new moons and full moons to finish off this painting.
I lied under the trees at night to connect with mother nature and received realizations.
這幅畫布來自一個難忘的地方，我重新利用並將底層畫作轉化為我的靈感。
畫布背面記錄了許多日期和月亮的陰晴圓缺。
靈感來自朋友家的樹林。
我花了許多個新月與滿月的夜晚來完成這幅畫。
我在夜間樹下躺著，與大地之母連結，並獲得了許多啟示。
愛不用擁有 2025
Loving Without Owning
Through branches
Moon and stars look back
I do not chase
I simply stay.
To love
without owning
穿過枝枒
月亮星星回望
我不追逐
只靜靜停留
愛
而不用擁有
It’s a journey of pushing my darkness away and embracing it back.
I invite you to see not only my wholeness and radiance, but electric energy.
這是一段推開黑暗又擁抱黑暗的旅程。
我邀請你見證的不僅是我的完整與光輝，更是那股電流般的能量。
i AM textured and layered.
i AM radiant and whole.
我就是有紋理和層次的。
我是閃耀且完整的。
閃耀 Radiance 2025
Shine like the blue moon’s light
Not only glowing but electric
Not one-dimensional, but whole and true
如藍月之光閃耀
不只是微光，而是電流般炙熱
不只是片面，而是完整而真實的我
2025.10.01
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2025.10.30
2 Gather 藝起吧 （桃園市中壢區洽溪路181號）
No. 181 Chiaxi Road, Zhongli District, Taoyuan City.
That’s it for the day.
Hope you enjoyed seeing my journey and dark healing power.
Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think.
I will see you next time soon!
今天就到這裡了。
希望你們喜歡看到我的旅程和黑暗療癒的力量。
隨時可以留言告訴我你的想法。
下次再見！
Lots of love,
很多愛,